May, 2005


15
May 05

Doom

WE GO OVER TO the Midway YMCA today for about a 30-minute workout on the stationary bicycles. We are facing some people using those machines that have the big arms that look as though they belong on either side of a steam locomotive. As they “run” on these things they look to me like African Gazelles bounding along in slow motion. Very graceful.

African Gazelles

I choose the “personal trainer” option on my stationery bicycle. Wendy selects what she calls is the “Iowa Option.” In other words, it replicates the experience of riding across Iowa without the Mississippi River breaks part. She doesn’t like the “personal trainer” because it reminds her too much of gym class. The best part, at the end, when the machine is convinced she isn’t going to pedal anymore, it flashes “GREAT WORKOUT.” She looks forward to that part asking: “Has a gym teacher ever said anything nice to you at the end of class.” I think about it for a moment. Then say that because I never qualified for the Summer Olympics while I was in junior or senior high school, I could not recall ever hearing any such affirmation from my gym teacher.

However, she is being way too harsh on the “personal trainer” in my stationary bicycle. He (or she) is making very reasonable demands on me. Steady resistance. Heart rate rising to 123. Calaries burned about 315 per hour. Seeing as I’m doing this for 30 minutes I estimate I’ll burn the equivalent calories to one of the two pieces of cinnamon raisin toast I had eaten for breakfast. I’ve ridden 6.5 miles. See? Not so bad. Now I’m finally figuring out where I got the title for this post … “Doom.” It was the feeling I had each time in junior or senior high gym class when, having donned the white shorts and white T shirt, I headed out the gym door into the cold. There I was greeted by the stern visiage of the school’s head football coach who was moonlighting (or rather daylighting) as a physical education teacher. Nope I wasn’t going to qualify for the Olympics … or anything else for that matter.


8
May 05

A letter to my mother

DEAR MOM … Later today we are going to have a little luncheon celebration for Enid. The Northfield gang are going to be here and it will all be very jolly. I would have liked to do something like this for you but you are too far away. Maybe you can read this and feel that at least I am thinking of you on a day on which we are all reminded of our good fortune to have mothers. If I could talk with you right now I would say first “I love you” and I would say second “thank you.” There are so many things you did for me and for my siblings that of course I cannot count them. All of these things were important. You were with us all the years we were growing up. Raising us three children was your aspiration. You were never sorry about it even though it wasn’t always very easy.

You were one of the most courageous people I’ve ever met. And you had instincts about doing the right thing about which I continue to marvel. I can remember a couple of things in particular. You convinced me to try out for acapella choir in high school even though I couldn’t read music. You supported a decision I made that must have been very difficult for you … to leave the East Coast and go west. Next September it will have been 30 years since I left. Other than that one summer we stayed with you after the marriage I have not lived there since.

There are joyous moments. When you and Dad climbed off of that train in Havre, Montana, us waiting for you on the platform … holding in our arms your first grandchild. The look on your faces at that moment I will always cherish. But you did more. You talked your younger son into joining a hiking club and there he met his future bride. You gave every kind of support you could to your daughter in pursuing her career as an actress — even though that meant she would move 500 miles to another country. But there she is succeding miraculously through no small effort. You must be very proud of her.

One year after losing your spouse I received a call from you and you informed me you were moving to Florida. I was the first one you called because you knew I would support your decision unequivacally. We all supported it but maybe you were giving me a chance to do for you what you had done for me when I decided to journey west. Leaving behind the cold and lonely northern winter you joined two of your siblings with whom you had not been as well acquainted in adult life. And you learned new things about them and they about you. You had 10 good years there.

So, there it is. I could write more but this is a Blog post, not a short story. So I will end this simply and say Happy Mother’s Day. I hope it will be a very nice day indeed where you are. It will be for me.


1
May 05

Red State

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I’ve visited a Red State since the election. It’s not that I haven’t traveled. Just that my travels have not taken me to Red State USA. I’ve been to Boston and New York City. Those are both Blue Cities in Blue States. I’ve been to Kitchener/Waterloo, Ontario. One might consider all of Canada to be Blue. I don’t think even Alberta would go Red if given the chance. This Red State is Indiana. It’s not Texas but it’s still pretty Red. The city is Indianapolis which, despite Richard Lugar’s tenure many years earlier, currently is led by a Democrat. Both Houses of the Legislature are Republican. The governor is Republican. I think a lot of the Democrats are Republican judging by my reading of the newspaper today.

Remember Potterville? My spouse and I sometimes jest that it is the ideal Republican City. This alternate reality from It’s a Wonderful Life. Indianapolis has some elements of that. It is one part antebellum southern city. One part city of Oz. One part Omaha with taller buildings … at least five of them. One part European sophisticate. The Simon Companies that helped develop the Mall of America has established itself like an octopus in the sky in downtown Indianapolis. A brand new mall leaps across streets at the skyway level. Luxury condominiums under construction sour skyward and connect directly with the mall. Downtown manages to look both tattered and renewed at the same time. Civil War era behomeths such as Union Station have been beautifully preserved or restored and converted, of course, to a use other than transportation. One can find a huge Irish Pub in one of these old buildings. Theater. Restaurants. Starbucks. Plenty of chain stores. It’s no downtown Minneapolis. It’s bigger but not quite as together as downtown St. Paul. Neither of these just mentioned cities has as many homeless people. Rattling change in cups. Bumming cigarettes. I was approached for change about five times over the course of a late afternoon and evening of wandering around. Never aggressively so. I have a lot of trouble giving these guys money — and they were almost exclusively men — because I know it will go toward drink before it goes toward food.

Indianapolis has a solution for homelssness. Just across the way from the aforementioned luxury condos I was hearing this horrifically loud noise. It sometimes sounded vaguely like a machine gun firing. Sometimes it sounded vaguely like an angry barking german shepherd. I was puzzled by this for a short while. Then I wasn’t. In Northfield, Minnesota, a local grocery store used to have a loud speaker in its parking lot to keep teenagers from hanging out there. But in typical Minnesota fashion the “noise” was not a futuristic barking dog firing a machine gun. Instead: classical music. Beethoven. Bach. Horrors.

I stopped in a very expensive Japanese restaurant and was offered a seat at the sushi bar. After scanning the regular menu and seeing a first course that was upwards of $30 I settled comfortably on the sushi menu. The waitress suggested a soup which I ordered and it occupied me while I waited for the sushi order. When the sushi was placed in front of me I had to take a moment to admire the presentation. I wasn’t terribly hungry and this was just right. Plus. Fireworks. This experience served to amplify the starkness of the Potterville experience. Stepping out onto the sidewalk after my meal I shortly came upon firefighter first responders standing on the sidewalk in front of me, doing nothing. Looking down at a slumped figure. I didn’t stop walking but it appeared to me that this man was not breathing. After going a few more blocks I looked back. Now there was a police car and an ambulance there in addition to the firefighters. By the time I was coming back that way in my rental car, the police had gone. The apparent death had been noted and it was up to the ambulance crew to bring out the body bag.

Returning to my inexpensive suburban hotel room I followed the signs pointing to I-65|I-70. Look at a map of Indianapolis and you will see it has managed to become the crossroads of nearly every major Interstate highway in the Midwest. The downtown seems to be surrounded on all sides by freeways. My hotel stands next a double freeway — I-70|I-465. Every one I’ve seen is at least eight lanes. This, of course, is the regional rail system of Indianapolis. I will note, however, that the very modern buses I saw puttering around downtown all were powered by natural gas.

Indiana is something of a paradox. Republicans control everything. In my reading of one day’s newspaper — the Sunday paper mind you — it was my observation that Republicans here seem less hysterical. Less reactionary. They still do a lot of the things Republicans keep trying to do in Minnesota. Cut funding to education. Balance the budget by freezing payments to local governments forcing school districts and municipalities to raise property taxes (across the street from the Capitol is parked a stubby white school bus emblazoned with the initials of the Indiana teachers union and a big sign “Save our Schools. The bus is covered by signatures of teachers from across the state). Rejecting the governor’s proposal of a one percent income tax surcharge on the wealthiest taxpayers in order to balance the budget within one year. One sees a passing reference to the dispatch with which both houses approved a bill to put the marriage question on a statewide ballot. The Indianapolis Star finds Democratic legislators who sing the praises of the governor. He does not demand anything in return for the crumbs he doles out to legislators in Democratic districts because he knows it’s just the right thing to do. Meanwhile on the front page of today’s paper, the Olan Mills family picture of a cherubic five-year-old boy who finally succumbed to continual beatings at the hands of his mother’s boyfriend with whom they were living. The poor. The people living on the streets. The young poor. Capitalism shall choose who will live and who will die. Red State America.